An important part of relationship therapy is to move slightly away from the content of the presenting issue and consider instead, or as much, the process that is going on between the couple. Insight into the dynamics the couple unconsciously operate from helps each partner to alleviate defending themselves from or attributing blame to the other and take responsibility for their own contribution.

 

As with individual psychotherapy or sex therapy, Integrative Relationship Therapy is tailored to the needs of each couple. The initial intake session will consist of contracting, before listening and understanding what has brought the clients into the room. In the next session, for some but not all couples, I undertake a more thorough and detailed individual history intake for each partner separately, one on one, where we look at some of the different areas and experiences that have shaped individual values, attitudes and beliefs. These history intakes are followed by a formulation feedback and round table discussion together with the couple.

 

As therapy continues, I will ask each partner for what they want to achieve from therapy that will make their relationship work for them and provide positive nurturing of the connection. I do not have an agenda for your relationship but I can teach you how to communicate openly and honestly with each other, make quality time together and celebrate your improvements. As you progress through therapy, I will help each of you to grow and rediscover a heightened mutual appreciation.

 

Some of the Common Problems relationship therapy can help you with:

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• I don’t know if I love my partner any more, or I love them but am not ‘in love with them”

• We are like flatmates rather than partners, friends but not lovers

• We argue, complain about and criticise each other

• One or both of us shuts down and withdraws rather than communicates well

• My partner is controlling or verbally abusive and I can’t stand it any more

• My partner doesn’t show me any affection

• We have no love life

• My partner won’t take his/her share of the responsibilities

• My partner (or I) have had an affair

• We can’t agree on finances, child rearing, or where to go on holidays

• My partner has to have his or her own way all the time

• I have problems with my in-laws, or interfering parents

• My partner is not supportive of me at all

• My partner won’t listen to me

• I don’t remember the last time we spent any quality time together, or had a Date Night

• We have a blended family. How do we manage stepchildren?

• I have no interest in sex any more

• Somehow I have lost myself in my relationship

• We can go days without talking

 

I work with couples that are straight, gay and all sexual preferences in between.

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